Park on the driveway, drive on the parkway

I have another one for that list of things that are named the opposite of what they should be. The newly tested drug "Reclast" is supposed to fight osteoporosis by building stronger bones. I once took a human biology class--didn't do very well--but I did remember that bones are formed by two cells. Osteoblasts build bone, and Osteoclasts break it down. So "Reclast" should actually be called "Reblast." Also, if I'm not mistaken, "clast" comes from Greek meening "broken". So does "Reclast" actually mean "Re-broken"? Maybe the "Re" is Greek for "not".

Hoops

This whole substituting thing N was supposed to start has been quite a pain. There have been so many tediously long applications to fill out, résumés to send in, recommendation letters to request, fingerprints (all ten) to be taken, etc. etc. In Utah they must desperately need subs because I think all they require is a high school diploma and a contract saying you won’t seduce any of the kids.

A lawyer friend of mine once said when he was applying to a state bar, they wanted to know the addresses of every place he had lived for the past 20 years. What is the point of all this? Sometimes I think Bureaucrats make up extra hoops to jump through just so they feel like they’re doing something. I know “there is always a reason for a rule”—someone at some time did something that required a new law—but when was there ever a substitute teacher who only submitted TWO letters of recommendation instead of the standard three, and turned out to be a psychopath? When has there ever been a lawyer admitted to the bar who only turned in former addresses of the past 10 years, and it later became known that fifteen years ago they were chummy with the Unabomber?

iPod touch is crippled

I didn't want a full PDA. I didn't want an iPhone. All I wanted was a functional calendar on my iPod. As a long-time Apple fan, it is dissapointing that they would intentionally cripple a product. When the new iPod touch was first announced, it was said that you could enter new calendar events on the device itself. Apparently Apple just backtracked and now you can't. They don't want it to be a PDA, they said. Isn't this false advertising? A 'bait and switch' for those who have already ordered it? I'm not boycotting. I just don't want one anymore. Apple is trying really hard to put themselves in the same category as Microsoft or Wal-Mart, as in, companies that are NOT cool.

An iPod (ex?)user from the message boards:
"I can just picture the scenario--I'm at the orthodonist, scheduling the kids' next appointments. I pull out my beautiful, expensive iPod, check the really cool calendar and come up with a day we are available. Then I pull out my Post-It note pad, scribble the new appointment and stick it to my iPod Touch, so I can enter the appointment when I get home."

I'm confused (read: ?)

I've been trying to figure out what exatly it means when someone writes "(read:_____)". Does anyone know? I can't find an explanation anywhere online. Also, WHY is it used? Is it "proper", or just slang? Here's an example: "...the purpose of this kind of wild character analysis was to establish a psychogenic or functional cause (read: explanation) for Parkinson's disease..." To me it seems like the writer is trying to better define 'functional cause'. Why didn't they just write 'explanation' in the first place (if that indeed was the purpse)?