Bible: Some Have Enough, Others Can't Get Enough

***This post is a continuation from the thread on Prop. 8, which became a discussion on the Biblical interpretation and Christianity, among other things.***

A few biblical questions:

• What kind of role does the Bible play in your life?





• Do you view the Bible to be infallible? If so, do you believe the words or the message to be infallible?
• With so many people (even in the same religion or faith group) disagreeing on interpretation of verses in the Bible, is an objective and "true" interpretation possible? How would you propose it?
• Where do you get your interpretation from? Do you rely on scholars, commentaries, feelings, or a combination of the three?

on "bigot" and "hate" and practicing peace

The words "hate" and "bigot" seem to get tossed around freely. Personally, I don't think using them is good for anything (other than for expressing anger, which has been shown to generally make people even more angry, and thus more divided), and hurts the user more than anyone.

For those of you who don't care, and are going to continue to call people hateful or bigoted, are you at least using the terms accurately?

bigoted:

• "obstinately convinced of the superiority or correctness of one's own opinions and prejudiced against those who hold different opinions"

hate: 

• "feel intense or passionate dislike for someone"
  
• "have a strong aversion to something"

Perhaps the words are being used accurately. I suppose under the definitions above, many of those who are against gay marriage (for example) could correctly be called bigoted or hateful. At the same time, however, it seems that many of those on the other side are often bigoted and hateful in response. What to do? Where is this cycle taking us?

Whatever side you may be on, whatever your opinions may be on any number of issues, how do you stand up for them, and work for what you believe is right, without resorting to the same aggressive and self-poisoning modi operandi that your so-called enemies use? 

On a related note, how can we condemn war and international aggression when we can't even curb it in ourselves? I believe we must first practice peace within and around ourselves. We must find a way to express ourselves in productive ways. Or not.

B. Hussein Obama as a scary man, and other observations

Friend's Facebook Update: "****** is MOVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY because of B. Hussein Obama!"

Me: "I wanted to move 8 years ago, but the world didn't end like I thought it would. Regardless of how we feel about the new President, life will go on."

Friend: "You are right, life will go on but I don't want to live in a socialistic country! He is a very scary evil man who has fooled a lot of people!"

Me (trying really hard to be kind): "Wow, you have really strong feelings about it! It is interesting how we have all switched. I thought and still think that W. was scary and evil (well, mostly some people on his staff). So I guess the universe balances itself out. My condolences that you have that view of our new president. That is not a fun place to be. It was pretty rough on the other side of things for the past 8 years, so in a strange way I can understand how you are feeling."

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The reactions to my gay marriage stance have been mixed (although many people were kind and understanding, even if they disagreed, so thank you). Here's one:

Friend #2: "Adam, you are KIDDING ON PROP 8 RIGHT?"

Me: "Did you read my blog?" (I had referred him here a few days ealier.)

Friend #2: "No, did you read the letter from the First Presidency?"

Me (once again trying to be kind): "Please read my blog."

After some discussion I was given these questions: "Do you think the prophet is just a guy with some good ideas?" and "Do you believe God is Your God or do you believe that God is God of the whole world?"

I played with those a little but it is not fun to be manipulated. Why do we ask those types of questions to each other? I know I have, especially online. Why do many of us listen to manipulate rather than understand?

After pointing out that prophets can sometimes be wrong, e.g. that "Brigham Young was racist,"  he said, "Everyone was racist." While I regretted bringing that up and continuing this type of discussion, I could not help but smile at the deep irony of his comment. "Everyone was racist." Now once again, I don't know what will happen 150 years in the future, but perhaps we as a people and a church will look back on today and excuse our current ideas with, "well, everyone was heterosexist."

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Finally, for Utahns, how in the holy name of Buddha did Chris Buttars get reelected? Who were the 18,000 people in South Jordan that voted him in again? Do they not like black babies either?

My testimony, and why I'm against Prop. 8

*What is Prop. 8?

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is not a comfortable opinion to have. I often worry that other members will pigeon hole the rest of my beliefs into the fact that I'm not anti-gay marriage. So let me be absolutely clear.

I believe in Jesus Christ, that he is the Savior of the world, who will one day ease the suffering in the world and fix what is broken in most of us and our relationships. I believe we can turn to Him now for peace. I love the church for its community, trust in volunteer members, and its deep and inspiring theology. Almost everything good in my life has come as a direct result of my membership in the church. I love the temple. I believe I have felt the influence of God there on more than one occasion. Despite his flaws, I believe God worked through Joseph Smith. I love the Book of Mormon. I know it is good and true as much as I know that I love my wife and son.

I have tried to remain as neutral as possible on the gay marriage debate. Most of the time I just passed it off with "well, I don't live in California, so I don't need to make a decision." However, as the saying goes, "the personal is political." For me to be against gay marriage is to be against family, against good friends. How can I tell them, "You know, I love you but I really hate this particular fundamental part of who you are." I refuse to do that. People who are lesbian or gay who want to be married did not choose their sexuality any more than I chose to be straight. So it has become a personal issue for me. If I were in California on tomorrow, I would vote no on Prop 8, because I cannot discriminate against people I love. That is how I see it. I'm not saying you need to agree.

I don't know what will happen in the future, or what the "effects" of Prop 8 passing or failing will be. I could be misguided. I will continue to support the church and President Monson in every way that I can, and I am also grateful that the most fundamental aspect of the gospel is that of agency. While it is not easy having an opinion that is different from that of our leaders, I have disagreed with prophets in the past on polygamy and the priesthood ban, both unarguably huge issues. I am not using that as an excuse, but rather an example of how I can be a faithful member and not hate homosexuality.

I hope that my friends and family outside the church will respect my religious beliefs. I hope that my friends and family inside the church who disagree with me will be understanding and not decide that I have lost my testimony or some other temptingly easy but untrue explanation. The very least we can do with all this is allow it to makes us a little softer, a little more humble, a little more patient. A little more Christlike.

Related Posts:

• My Prop 8. essay from the December 2008 issue of Sunstone
• Gay Marriage & Some Real Threats to "The Family"
• Mormon Matters: Celestial Marriage Amendment

We are all addicts

“There is dissatisfaction and frustration. Often nothing seems to go right. There really is a wound. But it is not necessary to scratch it. Working with addictions is about not just impulsively grabbing for something to stop the itching, not just grabbing for something to fill up the space, not giving in to this impulse to feel okay and just to get comfortable as soon as possible.

When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. But when we instead experience the raw quality of the itch or pain of the wound and do not scratch it, we actually allow the wound to heal. So not giving in to our addictions is about healing at a very basic level.”

~Pema Chödrön

We are all addicts, if not to drugs, gambling, pornography, or video games, then to the way we interact with each other. We often respond in predictable ways to getting cut off on the freeway, being defensive when we are criticized, or escalating conflict. It is an addiction, a habit that we can let go of. We can only know the extent of our habits if we have tried to stop. 

If you don't think you have any addictions, I challenge you to observe the times when you habitually respond in a negative way to something or someone. You may have to ask a loved one for a few examples. I'm sure they'd be willing! Once you know what it is, go ahead and try to stop it next time you feel the urge. It is NOT an easy thing to do, because our brains have been wired over the course of our lives to respond in certain ways. 

Also note that the term "addiction" is not in the DSM. "Addiction" is not necessarily the same thing as dependence, tolerance, or withdrawal as related to substances.

We can change, but it will require us to "allow ourselves to heal" and to not "scratch the itch" so to speak. It's not easy to rewire our brains--it may take years of practice. 

For the record, some of my addictions include air conditioning, taking things personally, and needing my clients to like me. I also get defensive when N complains that I haven't cleaned the bathroom since we've been married. Granted those are not huge problems (well, you better ask her first) but thinking about this is a little disturbing to me. I don't want to be ruled by my habits or impulses, especially in my relationships. It's also something I like about being a counselor--helping others train themselves to let go of their habits and interact in positive ways.

Thankfully most of us are more in control than the couple in this video, but sometimes I feel like I have very little say in how I respond. This is something I am working on.

What are some of your habitual responses in relationships? What has your spouse been complaining about for years? Okay, so you might not respond to a complaint with "You're a liar!" but we all have room for improvement.

10,000 Hits!

I would like thank my readers (and the hordes of people who have searched Google looking to remedy their shenpa but not found it here, lol sorry about that) who have contributed to my snobbery. Self high-five!

In recognition of this scintilla of an achievement, I have added a third column (to the left) containing all sorts of interesting political, tech, movie, and science links.  Please leave a comment if there are any sites or blogs that I could add to it, or any that you like.

Is this really happening? Has Utah really gone that nuts?

According to this article, a new law (that will go into effect in 2009) will make it a misdemeanor "to conceal, harbor, transport or shelter undocumented immigrants." (And what the heck is the difference between "sheltering" and "charitable assistance"? (which will be allowed...))

Why are we not outraged by this? I REALLY REALLY REALLY do not like Nazi comparisons, but this one really just hits you over the head with it, doesn't it. Yuck. Not only that, local police will be enforcing immigration laws... Possibly the DUMBEST idea I've ever heard of... So not only will these people be living secretly in someone's attic, but if they see a crime (or are a victim to one) they won't report it. Great. Good one Utah. You really ****** up this time.

Sorry about the strong word(s). I just feel that strongly about it. Please tell me where I'm wrong. Or that I'm dreaming. Or that I'm on something... I want the immigration problem fixed as much as the next person. But I DO NOT think the above law is ANY good AT ALL.

Shenpa in Real Life

I feel shenpa when:

Other drivers cut in front of me without using their signal. When my head itches during a counseling session. When I read about republicans who care more about corporations than individuals. When individuals care more about issues than relationships. When democrats care more about rights than responsibilities. When I am labeled. When people tell me war is good for the economy. When church people care more about fuzziness than reality. When I have a headache. When I tell someone about a very personal experience, and they mock me behind my back. When I have a hangnail. When people care more about being funny than being polite. When someone tells me I need to do something differently. When I'm hungry and there's a tasty donut in front of me. When an 11 year-old boy in Sunday School answers all of my questions with "video games!" When I see a group of driving hooligans yell at an old man trying to cross a busy street. When I don't feel like studying. When someone else tells me what I believe.

If you're tired of the Mormon/Christian debate, don't read this

I'm writing on this never ending issue because I need some catharsis...

From an online debate this morning:
“Christianity is based on an entirely different gospel than what Mormons teach. If you believe that you have the truth, then why are calling yourselves Christians. Do you believe that Mormonism is true? I believe Christianity is true, and I call myself a Christian because I believe in the truth about Christ from the Bible and the bible alone. You follow Mormonism that makes you a Mormon. Call it what it is, and stop trying to make yourselves look good to the rest of the world. If you believe in your "religion" than stop being ashamed of it. The Buddha followers call themselves Buddhists, Jehovah Witnesses call themselves Jehovah witnesses. The people that practice Catholicism call themselves Catholics. Call yourselves Mormons so that you can be distinguished from Christianity."

I loved Elder Holland’s talk yesterday. But of course, now the online debates are raging once again. WE ARE WORKING WITH TWO DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS HERE. The Mormon side says, “of course we’re Christian, we follow the teachings of Jesus Christ.” The other side says, “no you're not, you don’t solely believe in the Bible, and you don’t accept the Trinity.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAGGGGHHHHH! I’m normally one to be patient with ongoing debates like this one but it’s driving me crazy.

The writer above appears to be Protestant. Why doesn’t she call herself that? And Catholics aren’t Christian? I thought they were. “Christian” is a big label to me. Just like “Buddhist” or “Muslim”. In my mind the argument is flawed. It is saying we should call ourselves “Mormon” because “Buddha followers call themselves Buddhists,” but the term “Mormon” is not on the same systemic level as "Buddhist" or "Christian.”

Really the only frustrating thing about this is the debate will not end because we are arguing past each other. We are not talking about the same thing. When you are debating with someone, it’s generally a good idea to make sure you’re talking about the same thing, isn’t it? So in a stretch toward peace on this issue, I concede that by the definition above (i.e. only read the Bible), I am not Christian. By my definition (try to follow Christ), I am. It all depends on your definition.

Is my argument on this issue flawed? Let me know! I'm curious. What do you think on this issue?

I suppose Pema would tell me I need to "stay" with my annoyed feelings on this issue, and learn to connect with others in the world who also feel annoyed.

I want my money?

I’ve been reading Approaching Zion, by Hugh Nibley, a Mormon scholar. It condemns wealth-seeking, unbridled capitalism, and destruction of the environment. And it has been invading my thoughts. I'm questioning my career goals in life. Do I want to be rich? In Mormon doctrine, the only good reason for seeking riches is to help others. From The Book of Mormon: “But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.”

It’s not just Mormon doctrine. Here are a few other teachings:
The King James Bible: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth…But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” “…a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”

Chögyam Trungpa, Tibetan Buddhist teacher:
“Our highly organized and technological society reflects our preoccupation with manipulating physical surroundings so as to shield ourselves from the irritations of the raw, rugged, unpredictable aspects of life. Push-button elevators, pre-packaged meat, air conditioning, flush toilets …weather satellites, bulldozers, fluorescent lighting, nine-to-five jobs, television - all are attempts to create a manageable, safe, predictable, pleasurable world… It is ego's ambition to secure and entertain itself, trying to avoid all irritation. So we cling to our pleasures and possessions…”

So, where do we draw the line? Should I buy a Corvette for $60,000 when I could buy a less expensive one for a third of that price or less, and give the rest of the money away? When we take more than we actually need, aren’t we really being selfish? How can any wealthy person drop 30 grand on a vacation to Bora Bora when there are still people starving in the world? And I’m not just condemning the rich here. I’m guilty too. I love DVDs, vacations, “air conditioning,” etc. The irony of it is we try to amass all of these “riches” that comfort or amuse us, yet the end result is we’ve wasted our time, increased the strength of our addictions to ‘things’, and used up resources that ostensibly could have been used for a better purpose. So when can one relax and enjoy a movie?

Warlocks are enemies of God!

I’m currently watching Jesus Camp and wondering why I feel disturbed. I suppose everyone has a different way of expressing spirituality or religiosity, but watching the kids in this movie writhe around and yell out nonsense syllables makes me uncomfortable. Although, I’m certainly not ignorant of the fact that Mormons probably seem weird or even heretical to them. According to a boy in the movie, non-“Christians” (like me, I suppose) make his spirit feel “yucky.”

Some thoughts: what do they have against acknowledging global warming? If anything global warming should be a religious “sign” to the Evangelicals that the second coming is near. Also, Evangelicals and Mormons seem to frequently debate about whether or not Mormons are Christian (brought to the table again due to Romney's presidential run), but our culture and hermeneutics are so different that the debate seems pointless to me. We are different. We worship an ostensibly different God. We may both read the Bible and share some values, but pretty much everything else seems to be different. And I think that is ok. I don’t think we need to say we’re the same.

My point is not to rag on these people or anyone else. I’m just trying to acknowledge how different cultures can make us uncomfortable. If some people believe that Harry Potter is evil/a hero, that democrats are going to destroy/save the country, that a fetus is/is not a life, or the silverware should always face down/up in the dishwasher, it may make me uncomfortable, but I’m learning to be ok feeling uncomfortable. I don’t envy leaders who have to try to (or at least we expect them to) balance all of the needs or opinions of the country…and I think it’s amazing that we get along as well as we do considering we’re all walking around making each other feel yucky.

plural identities

An editorial in the U. newspaper yesterday was written about a speech by Amartya Sen. He talked about the importance of embracing all of our identities. Exclusion and hostility result when we see ourselves (and others) only as red or blue, gay or straight, member or non-member, etc. Obviously we all have differences, even among close relationships. We don't need to eliminate our identities, but we do need to recognize that we and others are more than a single label, and if we thought about it for a few minutes, we'd probably find significant things in common with almost everybody. I guess I'll try this out next time someone cuts me off on the freeway by thinking, "hey, maybe we both like pizza." That sounds sarcastic I guess but my point is that we can all do better to relate in positive ways to each other. With so many identity/aggression fueled problems in the world, we have a responsibility to practice peace on an individual level.