From the High School Archives

It’s amazing what you can find on the Intertubes. Thinking back to high school (I know, the agony) I wondered if some of my stuff from the school newspaper was still there. It was. Lest it fall into further Interwebian oblivion, here are some keepers:

Some cartoons:
One of my friends (thanks Judd) on the staff got the crazy idea that I could do political cartoons. My first one managed to offend many, so I consider it a success. Feel free to be offended. For a high school newspaper I probably should have left the first letter of the profane verbages off, but I was trying to go for realism...

Reactions ranged from, “It was rude and inconsiderate” to “Hey I go to seminary and swear all the time--the cartoon was awesome!” The truth is, I was on a self-righteous anti-swearing brigade from age 14-18. (Not using profanity being the only thing that differentiated me from the jocks, of course. Well, that and dates.)

Trying to go a little more mainstream with this one--with a nod to my mother’s anti-mouse weapon of choice.

The last one was inspired by an AP Physics teacher who wouldn’t let us out during the fire alarms… we did have them almost daily though. Don’t let the phrase “AP Physics" fool you. I nearly failed that class, and it confirmed to me that I didn’t belong in the so-called “hard” sciences. Hello, Psych!


Some excerpts from an editorial (that portends my future in ersatz intellectual blogging):

Thank goodness for MTV
A bill was passed to take any talk of sex out of health classes. What next, taking God out of seminary? Or how about banning music from choir classes? I can imagine what it would be like during registration... "Let's see, I can take either 'Beginning Air Guitar', 'Plastic Child Development,' or 'Tonka Trucks Repair.'"

We're all just a bunch of little Dantes
In a recent issue of the Deseret News, Utah was said to be a very clean and moral state. In an article on the next page, 60% of Utah teens were said to be sexually active. Oh, I get it. Morality must mean not knowing anything. Since future Utah scientists won't know anything about AIDS, they can always work on finding a cure for hitchhiker's thumb or something else equally as important.

Not everyone has it as easy as Brian M*****
Why does Prom have to be so early? I know it wasn't as early as ***** High's Prom (February), but how am I supposed to get a date in such a short period of time? All right, I confess. I wouldn't be able to get a date if I had two years to try. But that is beside the point. I'm sure there are others who think Prom should be in May.

I loved being on the Newspaper staff. I often skipped other classes and stayed for hours after school rewriting headlines (if I didn’t think they were witty enough), and getting the paper ready. Being able to share some of my thoughts in print and know that at least three people would read it gave me a sense of satisfaction. I suppose that is why I blog. For those who are reading this, your IP addresses do not go unnoticed. Thanks for reading. :)

Actor says enough is enough!

British actress Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean) did not appreciate it when (in 2004) her breasts were enlarged on a promotional poster for a movie.

...the before and after... notice the tan enhancement as well...

Apparently these producers can't help themselves because they've tried to do it again (for a new movie) and this time she put her foot down. Kudos to her and any actor that refuses dubious digital enhancement. That poor studio. What are they going to do with such an obdurate actor? Just think of all the revenue that smash hit King Arthur would have lost if they did not have such a pneumatic poster?

My favorite comment from the article:
"If the size of her breasts were so integral to the movie and marketing, then they should've hired an actress that had the requisite size."

Why do we not hold presidential candidates up to our own standards?

These are things that would keep them out of the FBI, or prevent them from getting a faculty position at most universities, yet somehow it is condoned if one is running for President. Perhaps we have no one that could measure up to flawless standards, but one does have to wonder…

Cindy McCain ran her fingers through her husband’s hair and teased, "You're getting a little thin up there." He reddened and fired back, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." McCain later apologized saying he’d had a long day.

Any wives out there that accept verbal abuse based on a “long day”? What will President McCain say to the Chinese ambassador after a long day?

Here’s McCain on a good day:

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

Not to be partisan, here are two gems from Obama:

"...I've got two daughters… I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."

The principle seems off here. If they make a mistake, he doesn’t want them to face the consequences?

"The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person..."

I’m not sure what he means here, but I’ve often been critiqued for making generalizations around my colleagues… can someone this high get away with it?

I do not intend to slam both candidates, nor suggest that we should view it as choosing ‘the lesser of two evils.' We should choose the candidate we think is best for the job. My question is, should a presidential candidate be held up to higher scrutiny or personal standards than a daycare worker or a substitute teacher? No offense to those honorable positions, but this is the highest office in the country. 

I have had four background checks (for work and school) in the past two years, and have been told to be wary of what I write here, lest future employers base their hiring decisions on my words. Do politicians get away with abuse or questionable judgment because they have a monopoly on candidacy?

Oh yeah, and McCain committed adultery in his "immature" 40's, and Obama is the Antichrist. People believe both of those. One of them is true.

Mamma Mia!

It has generally mixed reviews, but last night I saw Mamma Mia! and had probably the most fun I’ve ever had at a movie. Normally I don’t care about the rest of the audience at movies but it made this one feel like a live stage production. If you like musicals, and you can allow yourself to have some non-cynical fun, this one is highly recommended.

It started off with a trailer for HSM3, which I think was supposed to be a serious preview, but had the audience roaring (check it out around 0:53). The first High School Musical was bearable for a TV movie. This one (at least the trailer) looks unintentionally funny--never a good sign.

Back to the movie – Meryl Streep was really good. It was neat to see a 50-something actress carry a leading role that would normally go to someone 20 years younger, and do well at it. Pierce Brosnan was campy and does not have much of a voice, but I think he was aware of that fact so his singing parts feel like he intentionally hammed it up. The songs are all popular ABBA numbers--it’s immediately engaging. There was also a story but you’re not going to care once the musical numbers get going.

If you absolutely detest ABBA, you may not like this movie. Otherwise, GO! See it in a big crowd while you can, and go with someone who can let loose and have some fun!

A+: my expectations were lowered by the 53% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I was quite surprised by how entertaining it was. Mamma Mia! is rated 4.1.3 (PG-13) on Kids-in-mind for some sex-related humor.

Kitties can have IBS too.

Our cat Old Prospector used to struggle a little bit too. She never ate any toys, but she did succeed in BMing half her small intestine, which required some surgery that left her with a shaven rear for a few weeks. She was very embarrassed by the whole ordeal, as you can imagine.