Who doesn't need them? Touch and closeness with others is in fact necessary for survival. It also lessens the intensity of pain and strengthens the immune system. According to a 2003 study, more hugs are related to better cardiovascular health and less reactivity to stress. Apparently some high schools have banned hugging, while others embrace it. If appropriateness is a problem there is always the safe "side-hug" to fall back on.
Here's probably my favorite music video. Music by DMB and a lot of hugs by a guy with some sweet sideburns.
What is your stance on hugging? Close friends and family only? New friends? Weird guys running around on the street? Trees? Personally, I like any opportunity for a good hug, as long as it feels safe. Granted, hugs with my wife are more frequent and last a little longer, but being able to hug someone is a sign that there is comfort there--some kind of positive connection.
...apparently leads to all kinds of things, including abortion, violent music, and the cessation of spanking your kids. Watch out! Anyone else get this email?
God says he didn't save all the kids who have been killed in school shootings because he isn't allowed in school? Wha? What kind of God is that?
We shouldn't have organized prayer in public school. Keep it personal, or keep it in seminary. No one should be subject to be around open religious practice in a public school if they don't want to be, especially when they're a minority. I don't want my son to feel like he has to pray to someone else's Jesus just because everyone else is doing it.
The video tries to suggest that the Bible is only full of common sense and wisdom, and therefore should be allowed in schools. Really? The intention here is not to Christianize public schools? Actually, I think the Bible should be allowed in school, right along with every other religious text, but in that case it should be used for academic purposes.
Did Dr. Spock really say spanking would warp our kids' personalities? It may not do that but it may make them more aggressive. This point really lost me. Is the cessation of spanking really a sign of the downfall of society? How about just better parenting?
Teacher's shouldn't touch students? Isn't that a good idea? If you need to touch a student it better be an emergency and require a restraint. Otherwise, does the video suggest that smacking them around a bit is a good idea?
... and no spanking of the kids leads right to... ABORTION? wow where's the missing link there?
Giving out condoms is a bad idea? Granted, I definitely believe in abstinence for high-schoolers, but I believe even more in not making babies in high school! As a poster in my supervisor's office says, "Become a High School Grad before you become a Quality Dad!" What the school nurse needs to do is tell the kids that the condoms may not work, and you may get pregnant anyway, so here's where you can get other forms of protection.
It doesn't matter what people do in private, unless it affects other people. In that case I agree. Like if our POTUS was doing meth in the closet.
BUT, this leads right to child porn right? Hmm.
And child porn leads to bad music? Wow we're taking a step back here.
And this leads to our kids killing strangers. Now that's a slippery slope!
Do you think organized prayer should be allowed in public schools?
He hosted a few years ago and it was hilarious. Then again, SNL can make me a fan of almost anybody.
I think McCain is funnier than Obama. Why did he wait so long to bring out the humor in his campaign?
Here's McCain talking about his new strategy to be a "double maverick":
In a better world, McCain would not have had to court the conservative base, could have run on a platform with some major points being immigration reform and climate control, and could have picked Joe Lieberman as his running mate. I don't know if that would have been enough to sway my vote, but it would have made the decision a lot harder.
One of my favorite lines: "I do think it's patriotic to tell the government, 'Hey, get out of my way, stop trying to impose on my right to shoot wolves from a helicopter!'"
"Some of the passionately feminist critics of Palin who attacked her personally deserved some of the backlash they received. But circumstances have changed since Palin was introduced as just a hockey mom with lipstick — what a difference a financial crisis makes — and a more complicated picture has emerged. As we’ve seen and heard more from John McCain’s running mate, it is increasingly clear that Palin is a problem. Quick study or not, she doesn’t know enough about economics and foreign policy to make Americans comfortable with a President Palin should conditions warrant her promotion...
Palin’s recent interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and now Katie Couric have all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out Of Her League. No one hates saying that more than I do. Like so many women, I’ve been pulling for Palin, wishing her the best, hoping she will perform brilliantly. I’ve also noticed that I watch her interviews with the held breath of an anxious parent, my finger poised over the mute button in case it gets too painful. Unfortunately, it often does. My cringe reflex is exhausted.
Palin filibusters. She repeats words, filling space with deadwood. Cut the verbiage and there’s not much content there. Here’s but one example of many from her interview with Hannity: “Well, there is a danger in allowing some obsessive partisanship to get into the issue that we’re talking about today. And that’s something that John McCain, too, his track record, proving that he can work both sides of the aisle, he can surpass the partisanship that must be surpassed to deal with an issue like this." ...
What to do?
McCain can’t repudiate his choice for running mate. He not only risks the wrath of the GOP’s unforgiving base, but he invites others to second-guess his executive decision-making ability. Barack Obama faces the same problem with Biden. Only Palin can save McCain, her party, and the country she loves. She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first.
“There is dissatisfaction and frustration. Often nothing seems to go right. There really is a wound. But it is not necessary to scratch it. Working with addictions is about not just impulsively grabbing for something to stop the itching, not just grabbing for something to fill up the space, not giving in to this impulse to feel okay and just to get comfortable as soon as possible.
When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. But when we instead experience the raw quality of the itch or pain of the wound and do not scratch it, we actually allow the wound to heal. So not giving in to our addictions is about healing at a very basic level.”
~Pema Chödrön
We are all addicts, if not to drugs, gambling, pornography, or video games, then to the way we interact with each other. We often respond in predictable ways to getting cut off on the freeway, being defensive when we are criticized, or escalating conflict. It is an addiction, a habit that we can let go of. We can only know the extent of our habits if we have tried to stop.
If you don't think you have any addictions, I challenge you to observe the times when you habitually respond in a negative way to something or someone. You may have to ask a loved one for a few examples. I'm sure they'd be willing! Once you know what it is, go ahead and try to stop it next time you feel the urge. It is NOT an easy thing to do, because our brains have been wired over the course of our lives to respond in certain ways.
Also note that the term "addiction" is not in the DSM. "Addiction" is not necessarily the same thing as dependence, tolerance, or withdrawal as related to substances.
We can change, but it will require us to "allow ourselves to heal" and to not "scratch the itch" so to speak. It's not easy to rewire our brains--it may take years of practice.
For the record, some of my addictions include air conditioning, taking things personally, and needing my clients to like me. I also get defensive when N complains that I haven't cleaned the bathroom since we've been married. Granted those are not huge problems (well, you better ask her first) but thinking about this is a little disturbing to me. I don't want to be ruled by my habits or impulses, especially in my relationships. It's also something I like about being a counselor--helping others train themselves to let go of their habits and interact in positive ways.
Thankfully most of us are more in control than the couple in this video, but sometimes I feel like I have very little say in how I respond. This is something I am working on.
What are some of your habitual responses in relationships? What has your spouse been complaining about for years? Okay, so you might not respond to a complaint with "You're a liar!" but we all have room for improvement.
"The ads are fast, furious, and factually flimsy."
Who's the bigger liar? I welcome proof otherwise, but McCain seems to be in the lead. Apparently reading my mind, SNL tries to make me feel better by putting a positive spin on McCain's ever-growing body of lies:
Twilight author allegedly "spoils" her own book, sending thousands of teenage girls everyone on the planet into a frenzy. Chillax, she replies. She didn't spoil all of it.
This is over a year old, and you've probably already seen it, but I needed to post something on a happy note after that last rant. : ) Jason also has his own Wikipedia entry.
